Friday, October 26, 2012


"I would rather die of passion than of boredom." Vincent Van Gogh

An old teacher of mine passed away after a battle with cancer last week.

Mr. Delaney was an all inspiring man.  He could have caused action from a rock - and not by being loud or giving you shocking facts, but by listening, by being attentive and intentional.  He lived his life caring for others all over the planet (literally).  And although I haven't spoke to him in ages and haven't thought much of him in recent years, his death shook me.  Death always shakes me.

As a parent I genuinely hope that my children will one day encounter a teacher/adult/peer who inspires them the same way that Mr. D inspired me and so so SO many other students who walked through the doors of Waubaushene, Fesserton or Victoria Harbour Elementary. He encouraged me to take action, to make a difference in any small way that I could.  It was there, with him, that I started writing letters to various Ministers in Parliament and expressing concern for education for myself and my peers.  Expressing concern about injustices that were happening all over the world, but focusing mostly in Sierra Leone, where Mr. D has spent a significant amount of time.

As an adult I have lost that inspiration, passion and vigour. Those traits have been replaced with ignorance and complacency. I occasionally believe that one person CANNOT possibly make an impact on the world, but Mr. D proves that theory to be incorrect.  The number of people who he touched, that could make it to his funeral, could barely be contained in the confines of the church walls, but that is still only a small portion of people affected by his life.

I wish I did not feel this ignorance (which I suppose I could change) but at times it is hard to believe that my life as a stay-at-home mom/babysitter could make much of a difference, and that definitely needs to change.

I am clearly in need of some inspiration since last night I was even having incredibly boring dreams.

I am a dreamer - not like the John Lennon song. I mean in my dreams I live a crazy, unbelievable life (which would only be possible in dreams).  My dreams involve flying, not in airplanes or helicopters, but me, flying through the air, and managing for undisclosed periods of time under water.  Sometimes I dream that I am travelling to exotic and magical places and meeting new people and learning new skills.

Last night, I dreamt about going to the grocery store and buying 5 lemons (yes, specifically 5) and going to bed.  I DREAMT ABOUT GOING TO BED!! How incredibly lame is that!?!

Last night I was sitting in Southlake hospital to get a little chest infection looked at, but while I was there it occurred to me that I was sitting in the same hospital where Mr. D took his final breaths last week.  A place where hundred of thousands of people have taken their last breath.

Perhaps some of them were also global citizens/inspirations like Mr. D, perhaps many of them were apathetic, barely acknowledging anything that goes on outside their own community.  Perhaps more of us need to think on a global level.  We need to take over the calling of people who have been called to something new (or taken from this green earth).  We (as in me and you - just to be clear) need to make a difference and leave an impression on the world we will one day leave behind.

I guess you could say I am breaking out of my rut... but I still need to figure out what it is I am going to do about it.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Stuck in a RUT!

So, I'm stuck.

I am stuck in the rut of running children to programs after dinner every evening and coming home and flopping on the couch, (or some nights right into bed) currently coughing and hacking every step in between.

Seth says I sound like a motorcycle.  He thinks it's cool.
Seth says my constant coughing is getting really annoying.  Right, it's annoying for him - it's not bothering ME at all!

I am stuck in the rut of leaving my daughters in their PJ's until noon.

I am stuck in the rut of cooking, cleaning and caring for children (which isn't too bad because at least my house had been staying relatively tidy).

Halloween is disturbing my rut.  Now I have to sew and cut when I get home from running kids to Awana, swimming, skating, or the chiropractor.

I have to admit, I think I kind of like my rut - but it sure isn't giving me a lot to think about. Clearly my rut doesn't involve blogging - which I imagine is because my thought process is relatively the same throughout every day.

"It's time for breakfast.  It's time for a walk.  Hey! Stop hitting! It's time to tidy up. It's time to colour.  It's time to cut and paste.  It's time to eat lunch.  It's time to have a nap (not me - but kids).  Hey!?! it's quiet!  It's time to clean the kitchen.  It's time to get the babies from their nap.   Hey!?!? Where are your clothes? It's time to go to the park.  It's time to play.  It's time to cook dinner.  HEY!?!? how did your face get so dirty?" and so on and so on...

I swear to you - my next post will be about breaking myself out of this rut - but not tonight... tonight is Grey's Anatomy -  so I need to be stuck for just one more day... hahaha.