Thursday, August 15, 2013

Facebook Scroll Troll

In my house everyone knows what my 'vice' is, the thing I can scarcely function without, it gives me anxiety when I can't find it and I am constantly checking my pockets to make sure I have tabs on it. My addiction is my phone!

Years ago, Seth was on this mission to get me off Facebook. He would say things like "If you stay off Facebook for a week, I will stay off my DS for a week!" or "Lets have a competition and see if you can stay off Facebook for 5 days while I don't eat junk food for 5 days."  And this is before I had the ease of checking other people's status updates from anywhere and everywhere, when I just had a regular old cell phone and I had to open up my laptop and enter the web address to get to Facebook.

To this day it still irritates Seth. We will be watching a really good movie together (Sidenote: Jack the Giant Slayer was such a cool movie for a pre-teen boy, and his mother) and I will be really intrigued and suddenly out pops my phone and I quickly check if I have a text, an email, or a Facebook notification.  It's getting worse because now I can also take a quick glance at Intsagram and see if any of my friends have posted something recently and if I'm really desperate a quick look on Pinterest happens as well.

It's a full blown addiction. I'm not afraid to admit it.  It takes me between 10 seconds and 2 minutes to catch up depending on how many people have posted something recently or how long its been since I checked.

Facebook is my connection to the outside world. As a 'daycare mom' my connection with adults is limited. So Facebook is where I hear about the news, it's where I read blog posts, it's where I watch viral videos and it's where I read those little feel good articles from Upworthy.

Yup, thats what my phone looks like 90% of the time.

AND, don't think that this post means I will be stopping. Oh no, I won't be stopping. I will continue to scroll and scroll and see what you've posted, what you've been up to, and pictures of your most recent holiday and of your kids. Facebook kinda allows the creepy stalker in all of us to be let out, and almost makes it acceptable... almost. 

The one thing I do hate about it is this; I have friends who I rarely talk to except when we suddenly decide to get together and catch up.  Catching up has changed.

Now catching up goes something  like this:
"I took a camping trip out to the East Coast this summer!"
"I know, I saw it on Facebook.  I went the the Blue Jays game last week!"
"I know, I saw it on Facebook.  Lucy is finally potty trained! No more diapers!"
"I know, I saw it on Facebook."
and then - Silence.

What the heck are we supposed to talk about?

As usual with my posts, I have gotten off track here. It has been quite a while since my last post (like 500 years) so why not restart in true Kathryn Fashion?

So why am I constantly checking my phone? Why do I feel the need to be connected with people, some of whom I barely know? What is it I am searching for?

I think I know. I'm searching for human contact, like an alien from Mars. I'm searching for something that will make me laugh, or something that will make me cry. I want something that will make me feel connected to someone, somewhere, something that will make me feel something.

Thing is, I'm really looking in the wrong place.  As I said, I won't be stopping. I know I won't, but perhaps if I can find something that makes me feel something outside of Facebook, I won't feel the need to peruse so frequently.

I have a 'Good Book', and that's where I am going to start.

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