Thursday, February 28, 2013

The things I want to give my children

Things are changing... and that makes me sound old.  I recall many adults saying those same words when I was a child.

WE (and I say we because I think the majority of people who read this are around my age, if your not - I am referring to people approx. 20-30 years old) are being considered the 'jobless generation'
To read more on that - click here

We went to a post secondary school, studied hard (or kinda hard) and graduated assuming that we would  actually work in the field that we studied.

It wasn't that simple.

Either way, we all work hard now to make ends meet and with a pile of debt from years of school, it is pretty difficult. And then we have kids. And I would be a hypocrite to tell that that having children is a bad idea.  In fact I think having children was my BEST idea - ever!  But, they do make it a little more challenging to stick to a budget.

So now I have an *almost* 11 year-old boy.  We live in a nice little town, with nice people, most of whom commute to Toronto for better paying jobs to make ends meet.  Most of them are older than I am - but that's not really important.

Seth's friends have their own iPads, they live in HUGE houses with a pool in the backyard and they have their own TV's in their room, with a PVR, Netflix, Xbox, and a PS3 connected to it.  They play hockey, karate, swimming lessons, indoor and outdoor soccer, and take some sort of music lesson.

Seth wants to know why we don't live in a big house, why we don't have a pool, why he only has a Nintendo hooked up to the tv in his room, and why my old iPod, that I gave him, doesn't have a camera. (Yes, I gave him my old iPod touch when I got an iPhone because I don't need both, and yes, somedays I regret my decision to give it to him -  especially since he figured out how to iMessage people and I have this new obstacle in the hallway.)

What I am trying to say is that I do not feel like it is my responsibility to give my kids these things.  I am responsible for the obvious, food and shelter, but on top of those things this is a list of things I feel like my kids should have....

What I want to give my kids

- Creativity, I want my kids to express themselves, to have a fun way to showcase their thoughts, ideas and dreams. Whether it is art, dance, cooking, card making, scrapbooking, whittling, or puppets, kids (and adults) need to express themselves,

- My time, I don't want my kids growing up and saying they were raised by a nanny so that I could work hard to give them a plethora of things they did not need. (don't take this is wrong way, I have no problem with families who have a nanny, and I totally understand how it could be a necessary option for a lot of families, I mean, that when I am not working, I want to be fully present with my children and I don't want to be working 12 hours a day, 7 days a week)

- Self confidence, by showing my children that I have a desire to spend time with them it will help them to believe that other people might also want to spend time with them. By listening to their thoughts, ideas and crazy stories, they will believe that there are other people who also want to hear those things.

Imagination, I want my kids to be able to turn the boring and mundane into something fun and exciting.  A trip to the grocery store sometimes turns into a treasure hunt, or a walk to school when we've left late can turn into the race of the century.

- A sense of Responsibility, nothing in this world comes for free.  They need to earn their allowance, and pay for some of the things that we can't (or don't want to) purchase for them.  Childhood is a time of freedom, no bills to pay, so all their money can be saved.  This past summer Seth bought his own plane ticket to visit his Aunt and Uncle in Edmonton.  It took him a year to save, but ask him -  it was worth every penny! (and every toy he resisted buying throughout the year)

- Unconditional Love, my kids may do some of the stupidest things, but they are my kids, I loved them since the moment I heard their heart beat, and nothing Nothing, will change that!
What's better than a hug
from your sister?

- Sibling Love, I guess it is not really me who gives this to them, but I can teach them to love each other, respect each others differences and preferences and in turn, also teaches them how to be a friend.

-Big Dreams, my kids are amazing, talented, wonderful little people (and I'm sure yours are too) and they can be ANYTHING they want to be. Astronaut, Prime Minister, Hollywood Director, Doctor, Ballerina, or Grocery Clerk, Burger Flipper, Maid, Mommy (which kind of involves the last 3), if thats what they want to be, and that's whats going to make them happy, then that's what they should be!

- Cookies, every kid needs good, homemade cookies.  As a mommy, I kinda get to decide what goes into my kids stomachs (sometimes - they have, on occasion, eaten things they shouldn't have, like crayons)  So if they want delicious cookies, I'm going to give them delicious cookies.... in moderation.

1 comment:

  1. This is an excellent post Kathryn!! Great job!! It is soo very true, all the things you mentioned!