There... rant over!
I have long been thinking about how we define ourselves compared to how others define us.
When we are small we begin by being defined by our names. If we are lucky, we have parents who chose good, strong and somewhat 'normal' names for us. If we are unlucky, we have a name like "Cricket"or "Baby".
As a parent I has such a hard time choosing names for my children. When I was pregnant with Seth I never gave much thought to the meaning behind a name, rather how difficult it was to pronounce and spell. (I was but a child myself.. I was keeping things simple)
I am OH-SO glad I chose 'Seth'. The name 'Seth' means appointed or chosen. Now that I think about meanings this really blows me away. Seth was NOT planned. I was 15 when I found out I was pregnant but cherished his life the moment I found out he was living inside me. I see now that my Seth was chosen. He was chosen by God just for me (as all of our children are) and I really feel that Seth saved me. He saved me from things that I could not know were coming. A future I never knew, but God gave him to me to save me.
Still, when I was pregnant with Miriam I didn't think that the meaning of a name could define us in any way. 'Miriam' means bitter or rebellious. Before Miriam turned 1, I realized how rebellious she is. It is ingrained in her personality. She lives life on the edge (as edgy as a 3 year-old can be). She is strong-willed and hot-tempered. I love Miriam with all my heart, but if I had given any thought to the idea of names defining us I would have named her 'Dove' or something peaceful like that. (No, I never actually would have named her DOVE, but I can pretend)
|Miriam is the one screaming, not the one hiding from the screamer...|
I am not saying that I could have named her something different and she would be a different person but I think that in some way I was lead to these names for a reason.
Now my Lucy. While I was pregnant, Eric and I took note of the meanings of names. Eric tried sooo hard to get me to name her "Feliks" if she was a boy which means happy.
I had a hard time with Feliks... one because of the spelling and two because of the cat... We finally agreed on a boy name the night before I went into the hospital. We chose 'Elias' which means the Lord is my God. But we never had to use it. We had a bouncing baby girl, we named her 'Lucy' which means light and she has definitely brought a lot of light to the lives of everyone who loves her. She is smiley, bright and cheerful.
On to me... 'Kathryn' means pure. When I think of this I like to think of myself as being honest and open and I'd like to think that in a way that is pure. I am purely Kathryn... but perhaps I too am rebellious and bitter like little Miriam and my middle name is 'Mary' which has the same meaning as 'Miriam'.
Who knows... maybe we can be defined by our names, maybe not.... either way, I still feel lucky that my parents didn't name me 'Scorpion'.